Converting monster types from 3.x to 5e

Aberrations
The definition of aberration has changed between 3.x and 5e. As of 5e, it only refers to monsters from the realms of chaos (e.g. Limbo, Far Realm). So any aberration that is literally an alien remains an aberration. Those which are merely strange are placed into another type: e.g. will-o-wisps are undead and naga are monstrosities. (Although I hate the monstrosity type, so in my house rules naga become dragons instead.)

Magical beast and monstrous humanoid
The magical beast and monstrous humanoid types have been deprecated. You might think they have been replaced by the monstrosity type, but this is not the case. Although many are placed in monstrosity, several magical beasts and monstrous humanoids from 3.x have been classified as other types: e.g. stirge, blood hawk and giant eagle are beasts; pegasus and unicorn are celestial; fire snake and gargoyle are elemental; blink dog and hag are fey; aarakocra, grimlock, kuo-toa, jackalwere, sahuagin, thri-kreen, and quaggoth are humanoid. The new type should be determined on a case-by-case basis. (I personally hate the monstrosity type as a catchall because that encourages lazy design.)

Outsiders
The outsider type has been deprecated as of 5e and replaced with more clearly defined types including aberration, celestial, construct, elemental, fey, fiend and so forth. Sometimes the new type is easy to determine: demons, devils, rakshasa, etc are fiends, angels, archons, couatls, etc are celestials, proteans are aberrations, genies are elementals, etc. Note that some of the subtypes may need to be dropped, e.g. archons no longer exist in 5e being replaced by angels. Other types the type may be different that you expect because of changes in 5e cosmology: e.g. the eladrins/azatas and guardinals/agathions are now typed as fey.

Sometimes the new type is not easy to determine or there may not be a good equivalent. For example, the only type that seems applicable to kami would be fey. In another example, aeons and psychopomps seemingly have no appropriate type so the only choice would seem to be "monstrosity" because it exists to hold monsters that cannot fit into other types (which I think is stupid and indicates the type mechanic is broken and needs fixing). However, if you are using a simple Moorcockian chaos/order/balance alignment system rather than the retarded good/evil/whatever system, then aeons and psychopomps make sense as celestials since they defend the balance (which is good in Moorcockian cosmology, whereas law and chaos are evil).

Distinguishing constructs, elementals and undeads

The monster types mechanic in D&D has always been iffy due to the arbitrary definitions and distinctions between the monster types.

For example, the [fey] type is an amalgamation of many different concepts from mythology and folklore. It include Greek rustic gods (dryads, nymphs, satyrs), Celtic nobility of the Otherworld (seelie and unseelie courts), Celtic tricksters (sprites), fairytale hags, the ghostly fairy dogs of the British Isles (blink dogs, yeth hounds), and “celestial fey” invented for Planescape (eladrin, guardinals).

Another example would be the distinctions between the [construct], [elemental], and [undead] types. Although they are self-explanatory, it is very easy to devise monsters that straddle more than one of them or stretch the definition. This reveals weaknesses of the mutually exclusive tagging system.

Creature Collection Revised features the [elemental] “strife elemental.” The strife elemental is a personification of an abstract emotional concept rather than a physical classical element. What else would you type it? [demon]? [monstrosity]? Those are poor fits.

Forgotten Foes features the [elemental] “junk elemental.” The junk element is a spontaneous personification and animation of an artifice, in this case thrown away junk, rather than a simple classical element. It clearly straddles [construct] and [elemental].

Legends & Lairs: Elemental Lore features the [elemental] “last breath.” The last breath is an air elemental animated by the spirit of a dead person, the animated literal last breath. It clearly straddles [elemental] and [undead].

Creature Collection II: Dark Menagerie features the [undead] “siege undead.” (Monsters of Porphyra reprints it as “besieged undead.”) The sieged undead is constructed like a construct from the parts of a corpse, separating the skin, muscles and bones into three separate constructs with other materials (like sand, wood, nails, and wire) to fill the gaps. It clearly straddles [construct] and [undead], if not wrongly typed and more sensible as [construct] to begin with.

Creature Collection III: Savage Bestiary features the [construct] “spontaneous golem.” (Monsters of Porphyra reprints it as “spontaneous construct.”) The spontaneous construct arises naturally (or supernaturally) from crafted objects like pelts and gallows, but never deliberately created. It clearly straddles [construct], [elemental], and [undead], for all the same reasons mentioned prior.

The idiosyncracies of vampire killing

Vampires are difficult to kill because they do not stay dead due to special traits variously known as "misty escape" and "rejuvenation." When killed in combat they transform into mist and retreat to their coffin to recover. However, if you interpret the rules too rigidly you get a number of strange possibilities...

Ecology of the hyena, thoa, and leucrota

Nomenclature: akabo, alazbo, crocotta/crocuta ("saffron, hyena"), curcrocute ("cur hyena"?), cynolycus ("dog-wolf"), hyena, leocrocotta ("lion-hyena"), leucrocotta ("yellow-white hyena"?), leucrota, lupus vesperitinus ("wolf of the evening"), luvecerviere ("wolf that attracts deer"), lycopantherus ("panther-wolf"), rosomacha ("wolverine"), yena, zabo.

Description: wolves of the evening that attract deer, deadly enemies of men and dogs, mimic the sound of human voices to lure prey.

Ecology of blink beasts

Blink beasts are so named because they employ an unusual mode of travel, or “blinking.” The simplest application of blinking is short range teleportation, as in the MM entry. More advanced applications replicate the effects of conjuration and transmutation spells relating to planar travel like blink, dimension door, etherealness, plane shift, and teleport.

Famous examples of blink beasts include the blink bunny, blink dog, and blink mammoth.

A rough start on blob monsters and other gelatinous desert foods...

Fantasy gaming has turned jello into a monster. I should not be surprised but... really? Really? You turned a freaking jello mold into a monster? Jesus Christ...

Oozes suffer a similar naming problem as dragons, elementals and giants do, but to a far lesser degree because all monsters of the ooze type were listed under the heading “ooze.” I would have preferred if the other monsters were similarly organized, so we would have headings like “dragon, chromatic,” “dragon, turtle,” “dragon, wyvern,” “giant, hill,” “giant, ogre,” “giant, troll,” “elemental, genie,” “elemental, fire,” etc rather than the confusing mess we got.

Anyway, in this post I wanted to address the family of blob monsters. Boy is it way more complicated than you would think...

According to the Milieux Bestiary, “Oozes are even more simplistic [than vermin], covering gelatinous masses, jellyfish, and slimes” (emphasis present in original text). This is the first time I have seen cnidarians placed into the same category.

According to the Hack & Slash blog, the type is labeled "blobs" instead. These blobs may be divided into jellies (including gelatinous cubes), oozes, puddings and slimes.

Oozes are fast moving blobs, moving as fast as an unarmored man. They strike with a pseudo-pod lashing out and slamming into an opponent doing damage with acid and force

Slimes are very very slow moving blobs, moving perhaps no faster than 1 foot an hour. They climb on high places and drop on unsuspecting adventurers. Their attack turns adventurers into slimes themselves. 

Puddings are slow blobs that move along ceilings, walls, and floors [Roger says: "cohesive and rounded, moving by continuous traction."]. They attack by slamming acidic pseudopods against their opponents and engulfing prey. Certain attack methods and energy type can cause puddings to split. Puddings often have uneven opaque bubbly surfaces

Jellies are sluggish blobs that move along floors [Roger says: "watery and flat, moving by pseudopod"]. They attack by slamming acidic pseudopods against their opponents and engulfing prey. Certain attack methods and energy type can cause some [jellies] to split. They often have smooth translucent surfaces.

Kobold Quarterly #13 posits that shoggoths are the ancestors of the black puddings and gibbering mouthers. Derek Holland posits that shoggoths may be the ancestors of all life on Earth.

As of 4th edition the gibbering mouther was expanded into a whole family of "gibbering beasts" including the gibbering abomination, gibbering orb, gibbering ooze, etc.

The 13th Age Bestiary expands the gelatinous cube into the singularly bizarre "gelahedrons," also known as gelatinous platonic solids. These include the gelatinous tetrahedron, gelatinous cubahedron, gelatinous octahedron, gelatinous dodecahedron, gelatinous pyramid, gelatinous sphere and so forth.

The 13th Age Bestiary also introduces the shoggoth-like chaos beasts and elder beasts, of which the hagunemnon is an example.

The demon lord Juiblex claims dominion over all blob monsters, warranted or not.

Outside of fantasy gaming, we have amazing video games like Slime Rancher. Not only that, but the slime is a monster girl. Let that sink in for a minute.

Links

• https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlobMonster
• https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Gibbering_Mouther
• http://www.bogleech.com/dnd/mouther.html
• https://alzrius.wordpress.com/tag/aboleth/
• https://www.dragonsfoot.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1349943&sid=e9bc79cdca689b361cde2e90e0c93cb2#p1349943
• https://www.geeknative.com/44723/terrible-indescribable-thing-review-hideous-creatures-shoggoth/
• http://catsoftindalos.blogspot.com/2017/03/new-monster.html
• http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/2013/03/on-oozes-slimes-jellies-and-puddings.html
• http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/2013/01/on-ecology-of-gelatinous-cube.html
• https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/7nfe9n/5e_epic_monster_updates_v9/
• https://itsmygamemyrules.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/horror-chaos-beast-of-shub-niggurath/
• http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/Syh7y7EHW#p8
• http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/207422/In-The-Company-of-Gelatinous-Cubes-Expanded-PFRPG

Ecology of the thessalhydra and thessalmonsters

In a previous post I introduced the Hydra into my campaign setting as the singular monster from Greek mythology and explained the generic hydra monsters as being its severed members. This is due both to my respect for the original myth and my disbelief that any ecosystem could support hydras. Here I include my take on the thessalmonster family...

Although the hydra is a unique dragon that haunts the swamps of Lerna, its severed heads have given rise to the hydras that terrorize the world beyond its territory. Although their essential nature as a perpetually diluting bloodline remains constant, along the way the hydras have undergone various mutations such as the cryohydra, electrohydra, hydralisk, pyrohydra and schism hydra. One such mutation is the thessalhydra, which has itself given rise to the thessalmonsters.

Ecology of phase vermin, dimensional horrors et al

Ethereal or phase creatures are distinguished by their "ethereal jaunt" trait, which enables them to rapidly "phase" in and out of the ethereal plane. The most famous ethereal creatures are the ethereal filcher, ethereal marauder and phase spider. Many other kinds exist, often variants of material species like horses and rats, while others are unique to the ethereal plane.

Ethereal venomous vermin, such as phase spiders and phase rats, are so common that they have earned the classification of "phase vermin." (It also pokes fun at the fact that these monsters are generally annoying stupid gimmicks.)

Species names for the four elements?

The concept of elementals seems to have been invented by the famed alchemist Paracelsus. There were four elementals, one for each element: gnomes, undines, sylphs and salamanders. (Paracelsus seems to have invented the concept of gnomes.) In D&D, these subtleties were discarded. Instead of unique names, elementals were referred to as air elementals, earth elementals, etc. Furthermore, the original names are recycled for other creatures in the game.

Monster types are a stupid rule

I have said it before and I say it again: the monster type mechanic in D&D is stupid. The monster type mechanic is both poorly defined, nonsensically rigid, biologically insane and makes no sense from a holistic world building perspective.

Ecology of the intellect devourer, part 2

Since mind flayers are not open content I had decided to replace them with various open content analogues. I try to spend effort on making each of them distinct from one another rather than variations on the same idea. I gave the tentacle horror aspects to the phrenic scourges (who will appear in another post) and the brain-eating aspects to the intellect devourers. I have expanded the intellect devourers into an entire family of monsters as you can see in the last post of this series. More information below the break...

Sexism in monster design

Long story short, some of the monstresses in fiction are more than a bit sexist in their portrayal of feminity itself as a symbol of horror. Masculinity is played for horror, but not as often. In psychological and literary analysis these are labeled the “monstrous feminine” and the “monstrous masculine.”

The monstrous feminine

The tropes are monstress as temptress, monstress as womb, monstress as temptress and womb, monstress as bride, and monstress as desirable.

The monstress as temptress attempts to seduce the hero in order to kill him, such as the succubus. She derives her horror factor from turning what should be attractive (sex with a woman) into something harmful (death by sex). A variation on this is that the monster is not actually a woman or female but merely disguises itself as one (e.g. Pathfinder's vouivre). The most Freudian example would have to be the vagina dentata ("toothed vagina"). This motif was traditionally used to warn men not to sleep with strange women, although what constitutes "strange" may have in fact referred to foreigners... so extra points for xenophobia?

The monstress as womb, like the previous trope, turns something traditionally seen as desirable into something horrible. The monstress is monstrous because she gives birth, typically to horrible monsters. This goes all the way back to the "mother of monsters" that may be found in myths around the world. What is less commonly known is that these monstrous mothers often had equally monstrous husbands in a bizarre example of monstrous gender equality.

This trope is a horror-specific relative of the "mystical pregnancy" trope, although that trope in particular may be played for hope instead to horror. The birth of Christ and numerous imitations are one such example of a happy pregnancy. Far more often, however, a "happy" mystical pregnancy may be an episodic event that is quickly forgotten and the work completely ignores any emotional fallout to the mother afterwards.

A couple examples of such monsters in role playing game bestiaries include the "dark womb" from the Creature Collection series (reprinted as "Chorion hag" in the Monsters of Porphyra series), which clones other creatures to create slaves; and the drakainia from Pathfiner (a misspelling of Dracaena or "she-dragon"), which adds an additional element of sexual assault by forcibly impregnating prey with her embryos.

On a related note, many monsters that do not derive their horror factor from the monstrous feminine have unequal gender representation: in many cases, males are assumed to be the default and females are reduced to literal baby factories (if they appear at all).

The monstress as temptress and womb is the most Freudian trope and as the name implies it combines the previous two. One commentator summed it up as "[w]omen exist just to trap men into having babies who will then destroy their hitherto awesome lives." Too many monsters to count are described as an all-female race that keep men of other races as sex-slaves and food, like a praying mantis or black widow spider without the logical non-evil basis those species have for their behavior. Less commonly these monstresses impregnate their unwitting husbands, who then die as their offspring eat their way out (e.g. Pathfinder's jorogumo). The nibovian wife, from Numera, exemplifies this because she initially appears to be a normal woman seeking a husband except that her offspring are actually aliens that attempt to kill their "father" right after being born (an irrational modus operandi that raises numerous questions and seems pointlessly sadistic on Monte Cook's part).

The monstress as bride is a very old recurring motif in fairy tales around the world. A happy variation, the "loathly lady", depicts the hero marrying a hideous hag and being rewarded for it when the hag melts away to reveal a comely maiden. A tragic variation is that the hero marries a beautiful woman then, through his own stupidity, reveals her as a reluctant monster and destroys their previously happy marriage (e.g. Arabic ghoul, Japanese snow woman, Celtic nymph).

The monstress as desirable is a recent development where the monstress is considered desirable because of her monstrous femininity rather than despite it. The colloqual term for this on the internet is "monstergirl." However, such "positive" depictions can easily objectify women either intentionally (since monstergirls are literally a sexual fetish) or by mistake (if the author genuinely does not realize the implications of their writing).

The thriae (the Pathfinder monster, not the Greek nymph) is a "positive" mirror of the monstress that kidnaps men for reproduction. They convince men to become their sex-slaves voluntarily and then keep them as pampered studs for the rest of their lives. An entire caste of thriae dancers exists specifically to give lap dances. This is sexist against both men and women, reducing them to nothing more than their roles in reproduction and domestic housekeeping.

The sirens (again, the Pathfinder version) are driven to couple with musicians and commit suicide if their prospective lover spurns or leaves them. This is sexist against woman because it depicts her life as being worthless without a husband to spend it with, and it falls into the tired old cliche of "lifelong soulmates you literally cannot live without."

The monstrous masculine

These tropes have male counterparts, but those are far less common since men have traditionally dominated storytelling for millennia. In the internet age they have massively grown in popularity.

The monster as tempter is a monster who attempts to seduce innocent maidens in order to despoil their purity and/or eat them. This goes all the way back to the incubus, the male counterpart of the succubus. It is present as the wolf in the fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the titular villain of Dracula. Here the threat comes from the danger of rape, a motif traditionally used to discourage women from travelling alone or trying to leave their villages. It still has resonance today due to what the media decries as "rape culture," although what this means is highly variable by which country you live in. In more violent parts of the world rape is not considered a crime, whereas in more equitable parts of the world both women and men may face irrational disbelief when they claim to be victims of rape. Ironically, rape is most likely to be committed by a friend or family member of the victim rather than a stranger as the old stories imply.

The monster as penis is monstrous because, like the monstress as womb, he takes the innocuous male sexual function and turns it into a symbol of fear. The earliest examples include the father of monsters as the husband of the mother of monsters. This includes the penis dentatus, a male counterpart to the vagina dentata. Don't believe me? The Journal of American Folklore recounts the tale of "The Man with the Toothed Penis". The scifi horror movie Alien bases its monster on the male genitalia (designed by the late H.R. Giger) and it kills its prey by impregnating them with it killer offspring or by literally impaling them with its toothed tongue or spear-tipped tail (all of these are clear phallic symbols). The horror game Silent Hill 3 includes a boss monster labeled "Split Worm" which closely resembles a toothed penis and abstractly symbolizes birth.

A positive example of this occurs in the surreal artsy indie game The Void (aka Tension, Turgor), which may be analyzed as an allegory for sex and conception. To the writers' credit, it may be interpreted as an allegory for the creative process and for feminism.

The monster as tempter and penis is possibly the single most misogynistic trope out of all these. Oddly enough it seems to be mostly modern as far as I can tell, being a particularly violent manifestation of the oft-maligned "mystical pregnancy" trope. It is exemplified in the B-movie Species 2. The titular monster rapes his female victims and they die giving birth to his monstrous offspring. You cannot be more on the nose than that, I suppose.

An example of this in a role playing context is the minotaur.

The monster as bridegroom is typically a simple gender flip of the loathly lady motif. A beautiful prince is trapped in the form of a hideous monster and only the princess can save him with true love. This is exemplified in tales such as "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Frog Prince".

The monster as desirable depicts the monster as desirable because of his monstrous masculinity rather than despite it. Like its female counterpart, this trope has taken off only within the last century or so and mostly in romance novels. Traditional monsters and other non-human creatures like vampires, werewolves, demons, dinosaurs, centaurs, dark elves and so forth are typical choices in such fiction. This has a substantial LGBT following as well. Colloquial terms include "monsterboy", "monster boyfriend", and "you sexy beast".

Sexual cannibalism as reproduction

An idea I got the other day was that some monsters could reproduce by sexual cannibalism. Not simply eat their partner during or after sex, but eat their partner in order to inseminate their eggs.

According to the quasi-canon Dune Encyclopedia, the male sand-worm consumes the female, inseminates her eggs inside his body, then lays the egg case himself. The female does not survive the process, but she does not need to.

According to a suggestion by Derek Holland, the thessalmonster could reproduce by "hemiclone." Every thessalmonster is an asexual female who fertilizes her eggs by eating another monster. The offspring will be a hybrid of thessalhydra and whatever the "father" was, leading to the many varieties like thessalgorgon, thessalisk, thessalmera, thessalnaga, thessaltrice, etc. Every thessalmonster only passes on the traits of the thessalhydra to her offspring, so the traits of past "fathers" are not inherited by subsequent generations.

How big were giants anyway? How do half-giants even make sense?

Despite the general obscurity of giants in general, half-giants are a thing in fantasy role-playing, fiction and, to a lesser degree, myth and fairytale. What is often ignored are the physical barriers to their conception, namely the massive size disparity between giants and humans, nymphs or whoever the partner is. By analogy to the mermaid problem, I label this the "giant problem."

Ecology of the Argusoïd

Argus Pantopes was a hundred-eyed giant from Greek myth. As far I could determine his name translates to "bright/shining all-eyes," which is less a name and more a literal description of his appearance.