Missing images are a problem! Plus, some images of interstitial planes

Some of the images from my old posts, such as this one, have succumbed to link rot. I was so stupid to not include the original image in my blogger gallery.

I'm not gonna go back and edit the old post. So here's some backups and substitutes! 

Great Wheel cosmology with elemental para- and quasi-planes

Great Wheel cosmology with elemental chaos

Anethemalon Planes of Existence

Elemental Planes by Sapiento

The Cordant Planes

Pathfinder's Great Beyond

A simple cosmogram

Hope you enjoyed!

Iconic monster substitutes, 2023 edition!

So a lot has happened in the past year regarding the Dungeons & Dragons brand. Wizards nuked their credibility and Hasbro is turning the IP into a mobile game microtransaction hellscape. The OGL is... well, for the first time since it's creation it's now considered poison and its former fans are now moving away from it.

So... fuck it. I'm gonna start a new series on substitutes from iconic D&D monsters. I'm gonna make up some ideas based on my past readings of various other monster substitutes and then I'm gonna release my writeups into the public domain so that everyone can use my ideas anywhere forever. You don't even have to credit me if you don't want to. I'm not doing this for recognition or profit, I'm doing it to satisfy my creative urge.

So let's start with one of the most popular ones: the mind flayer and the aboleth. I've seen several different takes on these, with the most detailed being the Phrenic Scourge by Lion's Den Press and later Dreamscarred Press, the Possessors by Ronin Arts, and the Lethid by Bad Axe Games. The latter also included effective substitutes for the displacer beast, the puppeteer, and the intellect devourer. I can't expect anyone reading this to shell out for a bunch of old books that may not even be available anymore, so I'm gonna just makeup a writeup here recycling those ideas but sanitized of any clearly identifiable IP. I guess.

So here goes... The following writeups I release in the public domain.

Alien Horrors: The Squiddies

The Squiddies are an alien race that lives by enslaving and parasitizing other species they encounter. They come in many different castes with different properties, all of which bear some superficial resemblance to deep sea invertebrates like cephalopods and crustaceans. They all have some form of psychic powers.

The most infamous form is the aptly named Tentacled Horror. These creatures are composed entirely of worm-like tendrils attached to a central trunk. They have no faces, eyes, mouths, limbs, or other remotely humanoid features. They can breathe and thrive equally well in air or water. They can maintain a loosely upright form with tendrils arranged to mimic a pair of arms and conceal their appearance by wearing cloaks and such. They have a variety of psychic powers, but the most dangerous is an area of effect attack that temporarily incapacitates the minds of their targets. The ends of their tendrils constantly shed and regrow like fingernails, but serve a key role in their reproduction: these ends are their parasitoid larval form. Upon contact with a potential host, the larvae will burrow into the body and make its way to the brain. It will instantly kill the host once it reaches the brain, then consume the corpse as nourishment until it reaches its adult size. Larvae that fail to find a host quickly die.

Some larvae are particularly hardy and can survive a fair amount of time after being shed. However, these ones exhibit abnormal growth and properties. If they find and take a host, rather than killing and consuming it they instead attach themselves to the brain and take control of the body. This allows the Squiddies to use the host as an infiltrator. These internal puppeteers can reproduce by extending a tendril from their host's mouth that sheds new larvae.

Although all Squiddies reproduce asexually as described above, there are dedicated breeder forms sometimes called "queens." These queens are massive conglomerations of tentacles that continuously spawn swarms of larvae, or in some variants puppeteer parasites (see below). They can also be used as signal boosters for telepathy due to their size.

There's some genetic transfer when larvae consume their hosts. The Squiddies have exploited this property to breed a number of different castes with more specialized purposes. These include bulky warriors covered in crustacean armor, lithe infiltrators that disguise themselves with psychic illusions, etc.

Perhaps the most grotesque castes are the various dedicated parasite forms. Perhaps selectively bred from the hardier larvae mentioned above, these parasites are much more versatile.

The tiny leech ray resembles a mix of manta ray and leech, like those aliens in The Puppet Masters. Once it finds a suitable host (typically humanoid), it burrows inside the body and attaches to the spinal column to exert influence over the host's mind. While unable to freely dominate the host and reliant on subterfuge, it is so deeply embedded in the nervous system that it cannot be removed safely without surgical means. Otherwise, their psychic abilities are minimal. They serve as spies and saboteurs.

The flying head squid is a mass of tentacles that uses telekinesis to fly through the air. Upon finding a suitable host (preferably humanoid), it engulfs the hosts head and takes control of their nervous system. Their psychic abilities are useful in combat, so they serve a similar role to the tentacled horrors. They can puppeteer dead hosts, but cannot halt the inevitable decomposition. They have venomous tentacles that they may attack with whether hosted or unhosted.

The plane jumping squid outwardly resembles the flying brain squid, but prefers to target large animal hosts. It attaches externally to the spinal column and pumps the host full of stimulants and steroids, using its long tentacles to supplement the host's natural weapons (these tentacles drip sedative venom). It's psychic abilities are minimal, but it has a plane jumping ability that it can use to teleport between two points any distance apart so long as the entrance and exit points meet a criterion specific to each plane jumping squid. This could be shadows, flat mirrored surfaces, corners inside vertices, knots, smoke, book pages, etc.

Then there are two enslaver forms that control victims through psychotropic means.

The hidden master puppeteer is a mass of tentacles arranged in the shape of a huge aquatic fish. It is physically impressive and a gifted illusionist, but by far its most impressive feature is the acid ooze constantly secreted from its body. While this acid ooze may be sprayed as a defensive weapon, its primary purpose is to spread a contagious brain-rotting disease. Vertebrate animals of lower intelligence exposed to the ooze contract a brain-rotting disease that rots their nervous systems and turns them into zombies under the master puppeteer's control. A single master puppeteer may control and see through the senses of hundreds of zombies at once up to a couple dozen miles away from it. Master puppeteers typically specialize in one or two species, such as rats or other vermin.

The true master puppeteer is an even more powerful version of the hidden master puppeteer. Its psionic abilities are vast: in addition to mental manipulation and illusions, it can warp spacetime to damage opponents. It's brain-rotting slime affects creatures of higher intelligence and its control radius is at least doubled. Its zombies ooze infectious acid slime, produce a maddening drone, and the master can use them as extensions of itself to extend it psionic powers' range!

These are just a small selection of the possible castes that you can devise. Feel free to invent your own!

Space zombies!

Found this neat post about space zombies for the OSR scifi game White Star: http://realmsofchirak.blogspot.com/2016/09/space-zombies-for-white-star.html

Also, Google will unfortunately start deleting inactive accounts this December 2023. Start archiving your favorite blogs before they vanish into the ether…

Taking on the catoblepas/gorgon again

I’m treating the catoblepas and MM gorgon as variations on the same thing, so don’t get confused later. The catoblepas has received a few variations in 3pp because the monster is public domain but was never included in the SRD. I’m gonna simplify all that into a series of random generation tables.

Melee attack, roll 1d4

1. Gore attack, roll to determine damage

2. Tail strike, roll to determine damage

3. Mane of snakes, deal special attack damage

4. Long neck doubles melee reach, roll 1d3 to determine attack from the above list

Gore attack damage, roll 1d3

1. Curling horns, bludgeoning damage

2. Pointed, antlers and/or tusks, piercing damage

3. Mix, bludgeoning & piercing damage

Tail damage, roll 1d4

1. Mace tail, bludgeoning damage

2. Spiked tail, piercing damage

3. Spiked mace tail, bludgeoning & piercing damage

4. Long tail doubles melee reach, roll 1d3 to determine attack from the above list

Defenses, roll 1d4

1. Thick hairy hide and/or bony plates, no additional effect

2. Metallic scales, adds vulnerability to electricity/lightning damage

3. Horrible stench, opponents must hold breath to avoid taking psychic/poison damage

4. Defensive spines, deal piercing damage if an opponent successfully hits in melee

Special attack, roll 1d3

1. Gaze attack*

2. Breath weapon

3. Eye ray attack*

(Roll on following table to determine damage)

*Cannot be used if the catoblepas’ eyes are covered or damaged. This include the eyes provided by the mane of serpents.

Special attack damage, roll 1d6

1. Poison damage, and resistant to poison damage; has violet pigmentation

2. Necrotic damage, and immune to necrotic damage but vulnerable to radiant damage; has black pigmentation

3. Acid damage, and resistant to acid damage; has green pigmentation

4. Petrifaction, and immune to petrifaction; has gray/silvery pigmentation

5. Fire damage, and immune to fire damage but vulnerable to cold damage; has red/orange/yellow pigmentation

6. Cold damage, and immune to cold damage but vulnerable to fire damage; has blue/white pigmentation

Throw spikes attack, roll 1d4

(If the catoblepas has spikes/spines from its tail or defense then roll this table, otherwise ignore)

1. No additional effect

2. Can throw spikes as a ranged attack, like manticore

3. Spines deal special attack damage

4. Spines can be thrown & deal special attack damage

Spit venom attack, role 1d2

(If the catoblepas has a mane of serpents then roll this table, otherwise ignore)

1. No additional effect

2. The snakes can spit venom as a ranged attack, dealing special attack damage

If desired, roll multiple times on single tables, ignoring nonsensical results.

Reimagining the barrow-wight

So I was thinking about how there are a few different depictions of barrow-wights in folklore and fantasy fiction. That inspired to write this post imagining different variations on the basic concept. Sorry, no rules for now.

At its most basic, a barrow-wight is a tomb guardian. But what is it and where did it come from? Is it the ghost of the interred? A spirit purposely bound to guard it? A spontaneous genius loci that jealousy guards it?

Here are a few ideas:

The Angry Dead

"You can't take it with you" goes the proverb, but that didn't stop these guys from trying. Whenever a grave robbing adventurer tries to plunder this tomb, the spirits of the interred awaken and attack. The spirits will keep attacking, using whatever means at their disposal, until the robbers flee or are dead. If the robbers took anything with them, then the spirits may be able to follow or the stolen treasure will be cursed until returned. These barrow-wights are unlikely to reanimate slain intruders on a permanent basis, though they may use the bodies as gruesome warnings and puppets to attack future intruders.

The Bound Guardian

When this barrow was constructed, the priests of the local religion summoned and bound a spirit to defend the tomb from grave robbers. The exact nature of such spirits is variable, as there are many kinds of spirits to summon that would be useful as tomb guardians. These spirits will generally not be able to wander far from the barrow due to the bindings, which will probably not allow them to recover stolen treasure either. However, these spirits are more likely to unintentionally reanimate victims as free-willed self-sufficient undead. While the barrow-wight won't hesitate to destroy any such "offspring" that remain close to the barrow, it can't pursue those who manage to escape.

The Jealous Hoarder

This spirit was neither interred nor summoned: it came to haunt the barrow of its own accord and feels entitled to the treasure therein. This spirit has no limitations on its movements and will able to pursue thieves across the world, although they're unlikely to leave their barrows unguarded for long. The nature of these spirits are easily the most variable, with draconic forms being a popular manifestation. They will likely be prone to adding more trinkets to the hoard, which can attract unwanted attention if they aren't careful to cover their tracks.

Phylacteries are antisemitic now

Apparently D&D's phylactery is now recognized as anti-Semitic.

Paizo has renamed theirs to "soul cage" and ThinkDM.org invented this handy rename table:

I would've renamed it to horcrux. It's a neologism invented specifically to refer to that concept, not that I mind the rename table because I imagine everyone would want to invent their own flowery name for it.

Now all we need to do is rename the lich to a koschie and we're golden. Which publishers will probably need to do soon anyway since Hasbro has gone full Games Workshop with its new OGL. Oh well.