Tuesday, August 21, 2018

A rough start on blob monsters and other gelatinous desert foods...

Fantasy gaming has turned jello into a monster. I should not be surprised but... really? Really? You turned a freaking jello mold into a monster? Jesus Christ...

Oozes suffer a similar naming problem as dragons, elementals and giants do, but to a far lesser degree because all monsters of the ooze type were listed under the heading “ooze.” I would have preferred if the other monsters were similarly organized, so we would have headings like “dragon, chromatic,” “dragon, turtle,” “dragon, wyvern,” “giant, hill,” “giant, ogre,” “giant, troll,” “elemental, genie,” “elemental, fire,” etc rather than the confusing mess we got.

Anyway, in this post I wanted to address the family of blob monsters. Boy is it way more complicated than you would think...

According to the Milieux Bestiary, “Oozes are even more simplistic [than vermin], covering gelatinous masses, jellyfish, and slimes” (emphasis present in original text). This is the first time I have seen cnidarians placed into the same category.

According to the Hack & Slash blog, the type is labeled "blobs" instead. These blobs may be divided into jellies (including gelatinous cubes), oozes, puddings and slimes.
Oozes are fast moving blobs, moving as fast as an unarmored man. They strike with a pseudo-pod lashing out and slamming into an opponent doing damage with acid and force

Slimes are very very slow moving blobs, moving perhaps no faster than 1 foot an hour. They climb on high places and drop on unsuspecting adventurers. Their attack turns adventurers into slimes themselves. 
Puddings are slow blobs that move along ceilings, walls, and floors [Roger says: "cohesive and rounded, moving by continuous traction."]. They attack by slamming acidic pseudopods against their opponents and engulfing prey. Certain attack methods and energy type can cause puddings to split. Puddings often have uneven opaque bubbly surfaces

Jellies are sluggish blobs that move along floors [Roger says: "watery and flat, moving by pseudopod"]. They attack by slamming acidic pseudopods against their opponents and engulfing prey. Certain attack methods and energy type can cause some [jellies] to split. They often have smooth translucent surfaces.

Kobold Quarterly #13 posits that shoggoths are the ancestors of the black puddings and gibbering mouthers. Derek Holland posits that shoggoths may be the ancestors of all life on Earth.

As of 4th edition the gibbering mouther was expanded into a whole family of "gibbering beasts" including the gibbering abomination, gibbering orb, gibbering ooze, etc.

The 13th Age Bestiary expands the gelatinous cube into the singularly bizarre "gelahedrons," also known as gelatinous platonic solids. These include the gelatinous tetrahedron, gelatinous cubahedron, gelatinous octahedron, gelatinous dodecahedron, gelatinous pyramid, gelatinous sphere and so forth.

The 13th Age Bestiary also introduces the shoggoth-like chaos beasts and elder beasts, of which the hagunemnon is an example.

The demon lord Juiblex claims dominion over all blob monsters, warranted or not.

Outside of fantasy gaming, we have amazing video games like Slime Rancher. Not only that, but the slime is a monster girl. Let that sink in for a minute.

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